kay wow..

funny how I just recently posted a blog about life being good and all that junk..
Yeah..no.
I lied.
I just wanna fucking die.
Nothing is going right in my life.
Everything is a mess.

All guys want me for is sex...
No guys take me serious.
Do i honestly come off as that much of a whore?
I mean.. i know I flirt a lot... but still... thats nothing..

The only guy I thought I could rely on hung up the phone on me cuz he was pissed... he always calls me back right away if/when he does that..
He hasn't.
I think he hates me..

School is a mess.
I was supposed to go to an alternative school in Milford.. to have a fresh start and everything... i was so excited for it..
But my mom called today and they said that they only take people that actually live in milford..
I'm so behind... i have no idea how I'm ever gonna pass this year..
And if I don't?
I'm dropping out.
I can't stand the fucking freshman behind us.
I'll just get a job at hot topic or something and go to shelton night school for my GED.

Wow... my life is so fucked up...
And on top of all this.. my family never fails to mention how much of a dissapointment I am and how I make them want to kill themselves.. nice..right?
They hate me.

I barely have any friends anymore.
The ones I do have aren't really that close...
They have their own little circle.. I'm just kinda the outcast of the group.

God I hate my life.
I honestly have never been more serious about killing myself before..
And never more sure of it.
I just don't know how.

What would be the least painful?
I wanna just overdose... but I don't know what I should do it with and what will be the most effective.

Someone please save me?
I need a miracle.